Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Mobile Geolocated Dating
Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Mobile Geolocated Dating: by Renzil D'Cruz Online dating is no longer what it was , like all most things on the internet is inevitably changed and developed ...
Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Guide for Small Business to improve productivity t...
Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Guide for Small Business to improve productivity t...: by Renzil D'Cruz When child is born every parent are curious about their baby about his crying, laughing, shouting, uttering a w...
Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Setting up Custom URL in G+
Digital Marketing Emerging Trends | Digital Marketing Blogs India | Institute of Digital Marketing: Setting up Custom URL in G+: by Renzil D'Cruz While sharing your social presence are you tired of remembering 20-25 digits :-P ? Obliviously no one ...
Stories from Hindu Mythology: King Vikramaditya and the Vetal - Part 4
Stories from Hindu Mythology: King Vikramaditya and the Vetal - Part 4: 'I guess, you are now ready for another story!' The corpse possessed by the Vetal started talking the minute, King Vikramditya pul...
Is There a God?
Does God exist? Here are six straight-forward reasons to believe that God is really there.
Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.
The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth's position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.
Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that various chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels.5
The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.7 Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.
All instruction, all teaching, all training comes with intent. Someone who writes an instruction manual does so with purpose. Did you know that in every cell of our bodies there exists a very detailed instruction code, much like a miniature computer program? As you may know, a computer program is made up of ones and zeros, like this: 110010101011000. The way they are arranged tell the computer program what to do. The DNA code in each of our cells is very similar. It's made up of four chemicals that scientists abbreviate as A, T, G, and C. These are arranged in the human cell like this: CGTGTGACTCGCTCCTGAT and so on. There are three billion of these letters in every human cell!!
Why is this so amazing? One has to ask....how did this information program wind up in each human cell? These are not just chemicals. These are chemicals that instruct, that code in a very detailed way exactly how the person's body should develop.
I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.
By Marilyn Adamson
Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.
But first consider this. When it comes to the possibility of God's existence, the Bible says that there are people who have seen sufficient evidence, but they have suppressed the truth about God.1 On the other hand, for those who want to know God if he is there, he says, "You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you."2 Before you look at the facts surrounding God's existence, ask yourself, If God does exist, would I want to know him? Here then, are some reasons to consider...
1. Does God exist? The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.
Many examples showing God's design could be given, possibly with no end. But here are a few:
The Earth...its size is perfect. The Earth's size and corresponding gravity holds a thin layer of mostly nitrogen and oxygen gases, only extending about 50 miles above the Earth's surface. If Earth were smaller, an atmosphere would be impossible, like the planet Mercury. If Earth were larger, its atmosphere would contain free hydrogen, like Jupiter.3 Earth is the only known planet equipped with an atmosphere of the right mixture of gases to sustain plant, animal and human life.
The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth's position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.
And our moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth for its gravitational pull. The moon creates important ocean tides and movement so ocean waters do not stagnate, and yet our massive oceans are restrained from spilling over across the continents.4
Water...colorless, odorless and without taste, and yet no living thing can survive without it. Plants, animals and human beings consist mostly of water (about two-thirds of the human body is water). You'll see why the characteristics of water are uniquely suited to life:
It has an unusually high boiling point and freezing point. Water allows us to live in an environment of fluctuating temperature changes, while keeping our bodies a steady 98.6 degrees.
Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that various chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels.5
Water is also chemically neutral. Without affecting the makeup of the substances it carries, water enables food, medicines and minerals to be absorbed and used by the body.
Water has a unique surface tension. Water in plants can therefore flow upward against gravity, bringing life-giving water and nutrients to the top of even the tallest trees.
Water freezes from the top down and floats, so fish can live in the winter.
Ninety-seven percent of the Earth's water is in the oceans. But on our Earth, there is a system designed which removes salt from the water and then distributes that water throughout the globe. Evaporation takes the ocean waters, leaving the salt, and forms clouds which are easily moved by the wind to disperse water over the land, for vegetation, animals and people. It is a system of purification and supply that sustains life on this planet, a system of recycled and reused water.6
The human brain...simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.
The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.7 Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.
The eye...can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages -- simultaneously.8 Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain -- the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.
2. Does God exist? The universe had a start - what caused it?
Scientists are convinced that our universe began with one enormous explosion of energy and light, which we now call the Big Bang. This was the singular start to everything that exists: the beginning of the universe, the start of space, and even the initial start of time itself.
Astrophysicist Robert Jastrow, a self-described agnostic, stated, "The seed of everything that has happened in the Universe was planted in that first instant; every star, every planet and every living creature in the Universe came into being as a result of events that were set in motion in the moment of the cosmic explosion...The Universe flashed into being, and we cannot find out what caused that to happen."9
Steven Weinberg, a Nobel laureate in Physics, said at the moment of this explosion, "the universe was about a hundred thousands million degrees Centigrade...and the universe was filled with light."10
The universe has not always existed. It had a start...what caused that? Scientists have no explanation for the sudden explosion of light and matter.
3. Does God exist? The universe operates by uniform laws of nature. Why does it?
Much of life may seem uncertain, but look at what we can count on day after day: gravity remains consistent, a hot cup of coffee left on a counter will get cold, the earth rotates in the same 24 hours, and the speed of light doesn't change -- on earth or in galaxies far from us.
How is it that we can identify laws of nature that never change? Why is the universe so orderly, so reliable?
"The greatest scientists have been struck by how strange this is. There is no logical necessity for a universe that obeys rules, let alone one that abides by the rules of mathematics. This astonishment springs from the recognition that the universe doesn't have to behave this way. It is easy to imagine a universe in which conditions change unpredictably from instant to instant, or even a universe in which things pop in and out of existence."11
Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize winner for quantum electrodynamics, said, "Why nature is mathematical is a mystery...The fact that there are rules at all is a kind of miracle."12
4. Does God exist? The DNA code informs, programs a cell's behavior.
All instruction, all teaching, all training comes with intent. Someone who writes an instruction manual does so with purpose. Did you know that in every cell of our bodies there exists a very detailed instruction code, much like a miniature computer program? As you may know, a computer program is made up of ones and zeros, like this: 110010101011000. The way they are arranged tell the computer program what to do. The DNA code in each of our cells is very similar. It's made up of four chemicals that scientists abbreviate as A, T, G, and C. These are arranged in the human cell like this: CGTGTGACTCGCTCCTGAT and so on. There are three billion of these letters in every human cell!!
Well, just like you can program your phone to beep for specific reasons, DNA instructs the cell. DNA is a three-billion-lettered program telling the cell to act in a certain way. It is a full instruction manual.13
Why is this so amazing? One has to ask....how did this information program wind up in each human cell? These are not just chemicals. These are chemicals that instruct, that code in a very detailed way exactly how the person's body should develop.
Natural, biological causes are completely lacking as an explanation when programmed information is involved. You cannot find instruction, precise information like this, without someone intentionally constructing it.
5. Does God exist? We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him.
I was an atheist at one time. And like many atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don't believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people...to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded. To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.
I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.
I am not the only one who has experienced this. Malcolm Muggeridge, socialist and philosophical author, wrote, "I had a notion that somehow, besides questing, I was being pursued." C.S. Lewis said he remembered, "...night after night, feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all of England."
Lewis went on to write a book titled, "Surprised by Joy" as a result of knowing God. I too had no expectations other than rightfully admitting God's existence. Yet over the following several months, I became amazed by his love for me.
6. Does God exist? Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God revealing himself to us.
Why Jesus? Look throughout the major world religions and you'll find that Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius and Moses all identified themselves as teachers or prophets. None of them ever claimed to be equal to God. Surprisingly, Jesus did. That is what sets Jesus apart from all the others. He said God exists and you're looking at him. Though he talked about his Father in heaven, it was not from the position of separation, but of very close union, unique to all humankind. Jesus said that anyone who had seen Him had seen the Father, anyone who believed in him, believed in the Father.
He said, "I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."14 He claimed attributes belonging only to God: to be able to forgive people of their sin, free them from habits of sin, give people a more abundant life and give them eternal life in heaven. Unlike other teachers who focused people on their words, Jesus pointed people to himself. He did not say, "follow my words and you will find truth." He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."15
What proof did Jesus give for claiming to be divine? He did what people can't do. Jesus performed miracles. He healed people...blind, crippled, deaf, even raised a couple of people from the dead. He had power over objects...created food out of thin air, enough to feed crowds of several thousand people. He performed miracles over nature...walked on top of a lake, commanding a raging storm to stop for some friends. People everywhere followed Jesus, because he constantly met their needs, doing the miraculous. He said if you do not want to believe what I'm telling you, you should at least believe in me based on the miracles you're seeing.16
Jesus Christ showed God to be gentle, loving, aware of our self-centeredness and shortcomings, yet deeply wanting a relationship with us. Jesus revealed that although God views us as sinners, worthy of his punishment, his love for us ruled and God came up with a different plan. God himself took on the form of man and accepted the punishment for our sin on our behalf. Sounds ludicrous? Perhaps, but many loving fathers would gladly trade places with their child in a cancer ward if they could. The Bible says that the reason we would love God is because he first loved us.
Jesus died in our place so we could be forgiven. Of all the religions known to humanity, only through Jesus will you see God reaching toward humanity, providing a way for us to have a relationship with him. Jesus proves a divine heart of love, meeting our needs, drawing us to himself. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, he offers us a new life today. We can be forgiven, fully accepted by God and genuinely loved by God. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."17 This is God, in action.
Does God exist? If you want to know, investigate Jesus Christ. We're told that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."18
God does not force us to believe in him, though he could. Instead, he has provided sufficient proof of his existence for us to willingly respond to him. The earth's perfect distance from the sun, the unique chemical properties of water, the human brain, DNA, the number of people who attest to knowing God, the gnawing in our hearts and minds to determine if God is there, the willingness for God to be known through Jesus Christ. If you need to know more about Jesus and reasons to believe in him,
Mother Earth!!
Today in 2012 we human stand and the hydrosphere is awash with hundreds of lists of green living tips that you are more than welcome to print out and tape to your forehead. Or…you can celebrate everyday by sharing this one simple fact with your peeps: Going solar will shrink your carbon footprint by 7.4 metric tons a year!
What does 7.4 metric tons of CO2 look like? Well, if it were pure carbon dioxide, it would fill a space seven times bigger than the interior of your home. But our atmosphere isn’t pure CO2 – in fact, only 388 out of every one million molecules in the atmosphere are CO2. At that concentration, you would need to fill the Dallas Cowboys stadiums with air three times to get 7.4 tons of C02 – the same amount that your system is removing from the atmosphere every year!
Or think of it this way, going solar is an even bigger carbon offset than if you stopped driving completely! Your car isn’t the biggest contributor to climate change…it’s your house!
Bottom line: Home solar is the #1 way to go green. Do it today (and then go buy some organic tofu and reusable water bottles.Keep every glimpse of beautiful peice on earth for you and your future generations. :)
Ski-5
The Universe is very large I’m to tiny to comment on it .In this large world exist billions of people who have their own unique imaginations and dreams Every individual would wish that their dream come true one day. They wait pray to God so that their wishes are granted. When one wish is fulfilled there arises another, well now that’s human nature, just demanding more and more. Every one is focused on what they want ,but unfortunately no one really thinks whom they are praying to, or whom they are begging to fulfill their wishes. Yea that’s not important that’s what they think. It goes this way I’ve said my prayers and so I’ve done my part now . God has to do his part. Well I frequently kept asking my self this question, why is’nt everyone’s prayers answered? Everyone requires something from God and so Everyone prays wholeheartedly, but not everyone’s wishes are granted, why? The next question that comes to my mind is that is God really there ? If he is, where is he? How is he? How does he look ? Every holy book speaks of the existence of God, Speaks what he expects of us, every holy book gives the message of peace. But none really tell us how God looks where exactly he is.
Yea they tell names of places such as heaven and hell, but that is something none of us have witnessed . The fact is that no one has seen God. In fact it is here that I began imagining things, thing that could break a billion hearts if were true. I began thinking a lot about all this a lots, I really wanted to meet God. One day before I go to sleep at night I was setting the alarm clock so that it wakes me up in the morning at 7.00 am, but before that I check the time and yes it correct the clock’s working fine its 12.30 am. I go to sleep like I normally do. I wake up early in the morning like I always do. Every thing felt normal. I was still sleepy I turned off the alarm clock and just checked the time it was 7.00 am but things didn’t seem normal as they always did . I realized I was on the floor, the floor was well polished , and further to my surprise I realize I’m not in my house, I’m laying down on floor that covers a large hall, there’s no one there. Suddenly I’m really scared and a masked individual approaches me and tells me “ Welcome to the kingdom of God “ for a moment I though, did I die in my sleep? What could be the reason I died? Was there an earthquake when I was asleep ???? Many such questions hit my mind as I was asked by the masked individual to follow him. He knew my name, my age, how many people are there in my family and lots more of my personal information. I just couldn’t figure out what was going on. I was taken to a dark room and was provided with my favorite snacks, coffee etc. the masked man then asked me “what do you know about us” ,I was stunned first of all I don’t know where I am, I don’t
know who this man is ……he then slowly took of his mask, not with his hand. It looked as if an eraser erased the mask from his face. He was a bald man with no eyebrows, no eyelashes. He once again repeated me “what do you know about us”. Then suddenly there was another voice, it said “Brain scan complete no virus found but threat detected” after that the man looked at the walls of the room and suddenly it seemed like the walls were moving apart and I could see rays of light penetrating as the walls move even still further. Later the man told me “don’t worry those are sliding walls similar to the sliding windows of the 21st century”. I could not understand what he meant by saying 21st century. I asked him his name he presented me with a card with a chip on it saying “ my name is…..” I asked again what’s your name ? Who are you? Showing me the card he said again “ my name is “.
I asked him is your name in this card, he said yes my name is my dna signature every one has one here, but not at your place. I asked him where am I ? he replied with some latitude and longitudinal numbers. I said I need to go home, he said wait until the investigation is complete, before I could say something 3 more men entered the room wearing sunglasses. Then the man told me that I am at the Gods headquater’s and the date is 12th may 3150 the time is 7.11 am. I thought he was joking, I smiled and said enough and I needed to go home but he asked me to wait and said have a look at the openings (windows). When I went closer to see the view outside, all I seen was I was on great heights looked as if miles away from the earth. I asked the men that are we in air, they replied no, we are on a building constructed on the earth and we are on the 1010th floor. I realized this was happening now, it was true . I asked how much time does it take to go down to the ground floor he said 2-3 seconds. I again asked whether they have a super fast lift they said no.
“ we don’t have lifts we are transmitted down in 2-3secs through cables, in 3010 we have no vehicles everyone travels through cables, no phones everyone just takes the name of the dna signature and speaks the data is transmitted to the respective dna signature via frequencies, we have lenses that have replaced televisions and PC’s and to further replace sunglasses we are coming up with contact lenses which will play role of TV and computer too. In 3010 petrol, diesel, oil is free but you have to pay high for water, electricity is free but u have to pay rent for solar generators ”
I then asked them how did I land up in 3010 they said they brought me in 3010 because they feared that my mind possessed information about God . I said know, I don’t know whose God. They said due to some dimensional errors my mind could grasp(receive) data transmitted in 3010. I said how’s it possible I’m not a mobile. They said if we are so are you. They again reminded me the way they communicate, every individual in 3010 has a small wire programmed to receive information from air when the information is sent to the respective dna the wire transfers this information to the mind directly. And this is possible even without a wire but requires a bit of concentration (every human brain acts as a transceiver- transmitter & receiver).But if there are some time errors due to tiny black hole showers over the earth it is possible that this information be transmitted to the wrong place. Meaning the wrong era. They said that they were keeping a track of people after the 20th century because the people born after the 20th century were capable of understanding the logic of the 4th dimension and if they got more information things could go wrong for them because 3010 will exist only if the entire past is safe. They said that the world had to end in the year 2000 .An event changed in the past changes an event in the future , so that is how everything has still survived. Like the programming languages are used to code applications and every event or click triggers a procedure, every action of ours relates the present to its respective future. Who has programmed the future even they do not know. They had sent many messengers of peace to the world I live in, to preach the message of peace, so that the earth stays safe and so will they. They had seen our future, the world was torn apart by a nuclear world war, so if everyone dies 3010 will never exist, Our actions will destroy them too. So to save themselves they sent men to preach the message of God. They had written rules like YOU SHALL NOT KILL, YOU SHALL NOT DIE,……etc. etc But those were principles of the universe the main principle being EVERY ACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION. It was necessary that man understand this principle in every way he could. I then questioned them who is GOD does he exist? Do they believe? They told me that they’re holy books too spoke about men who preached about God and so they sent they they’re men to preach the same thing to us. They believe in God just like we do, but who is God? where he is? How does he look like? are questions which will remain unanswered until 3010, and will continue to remain unanswered till God himself comes down to earth to reveal himself. Several questions ran through my mind at that moment. Like was there another world running ahead of 3010 and were they changing events in 3010 in order to survive? Did they sent their men to preach? Things were becoming complex as I began to think more. I asked them what about the miracles the men performed, he said they were not miracles, it was all about their technology. They had many technologies that could be called as or looked upon as miracles in our era. They have special radiations that can make a lady pregnant by emitting those radiations enter her body, those radiations are created from her desired man, similarly a child can be killed in the womb via special radiations. I asked them why would they kill he said Its possible for them to detect deformed babies Or babies hat would pose a threat to their environment in the future, I asked how is that possible. They then explained me. There are infinite number of universes in the past and the future and there are also universes running with the present they are called parallel universes where the universes are running in the same time frame but with different events happening. Like currently in a parallel universe I may be having my breakfast by now the time was 9.00 am, but in another parallel universe I’m with them. I exist in every of the infinite number of universes with the same dna characteristics and supposing in 3010 I exist and I am being transmitted by cables (that is I am traveling ) and at the same time I am being born in another or one of the infinite universes, due to tiny black holes showers there is a time error where in the dna’s are swapped that is the wrong dna in the wrong place. Actually both the dna’s are same, but they swap universes. So the dna that was being transmitted lands up in the past and the one in the past lands up in the future, and since the dna in the future was being transmitted through cable he is not in the shape he should be and so he’s deformed. If an individual dna dies in a universe he will be born again in another universe to balance the law that the total amount of energy in the universe remains constant, just the form changes. And we have something known as accidents, natural calamities that cause deaths that is because due to some error some individuals are born again in the wrong place and so they need to be destroyed cause that is against the laws of energy. I asked them what about rebirth, They said rebirth has to conditions either the person dead is born in the same universe and so his mind have characteristics that enable the dna to think through his past and he may remember certain things, or the 2nd condition is when a new born dna’s mind captures messages or thoughts of an old dna that currently does not exist, so this dna may not be the real old one that existed but will have information that will prove this one to be the old one. We can detect such problems by dna signatures. The holy places that we go to pray are actually places which are safe from time errors, and our thoughts prayers there are heard clearly by their call centers, They told me that how they handle our prayers is a secret and that they would’nt share that with me. They also told me that the life span of humans in 3010 is just 25-30 year. I was surprised and I asked him his age, he said he was 17 years and that actually he was 19 but they have stopped time on a number of occasions. I said why life span just 25- 30 years they said the humans in my era were not concerned about protecting the ozone layer, saving water due to which their bodies are dehydrated, we did not save green trees due to which the are facing problems of lack of oxygen and many such thing. We have used pesticides and chemicals that has made all land barren to the future. They had told me that timeships were invented in 2400 but their use had been stopped cause they too would pose a threat to the future or to human existence. I asked them what enabled them to travel time, they said they have a watch that works just like the time machine invented in the 22nd century. I asked them how does a time machine work he said an object has to first travel at the speed of light once approached the speed of light a magnet is used to set in which direction to be traveled the past or the future. The north pole of a bar magnet when in place of the thumb, hold your hand as in the thumb rule this will let you travel to the future, The south pole of a bar magnet when in place of the thumb will enable you to travel to the past and if the bar magnet is kept in a parallel position that is the position of your fingers you traverse through parallel universes. The concept of the time machine is similar to multiple reflections, we have a round hollow ball with a diameter of 12ft which has a door the ball is constructed with mirrors inside there is a light inside the ball and the person to travel time will have o wear a mirror suit, a suit that acts as a mirror, so indirectly everything in the ball is traveling at the speed of light , the internal mirrors are then spun with high velocities keeping the human at a constant position and then you will see that he no longer exist in our universe. Similarly we have cameras that transfer the images through the cables in the form of light and the intensity of light is adjusted to view the future or past of the place or the recorded area. I asked them what’s the universe about they told me that the universe is to big to be explored , but yes they had discovered several planets similar to ours. I asked them what if humans were destroyed who would be on the world , they said that is something even they do not know , the future is never constant , it can be changed , they have seen different kinds of beings in the future .In fact they had adapted the humans in 3010 were thin tall without hair on their body. I asked them does this mean we cannot change the past , they said know you can change the past and so will your future change . I said what about time paradox problems, they said well imagine you went to 1986 where you were just born and you killed your self so that means you should not exist in the future right . I said yes exactly, they said no you will exist , when you kill the small boy who were you yourself , at that moment you are defining a new link to a new parallel universe . So when you return back there will also be a universe where you do not exist .SIMILARLY THERE COULD BE INFINITE NUMBER OF CONDITIONS AND INFINITE NUMBER OF SUCH NEW UNIVERSES CREATED.I asked them what about ghosts and spirits they told me that they don’t really exist but the person sees another person that is not a part of his world due to some time errors , and since its an error the physical appearance voice may deviate (may appear different scary)It is also possible that due to time errors an old building in 1000 or a new building in 3000 may appear to you, you may even be able to enter in to it and if it’s a hotel you may even get the services you want , the building which may be a hotel may not be a part of your world but don’t forget it exists somewhere in time and due to some time errors it is visible to you .Similarly when the time error ends and you are still in the building it is also possible that you may land up in the world of which the building is a part of , and that’s why u have so many people missing in the past no trace of some humans found , they may be missing without any reason , the fact is they may have come across time errors. The Bermuda triangle is a good example of it . I asked them is that a worm hole or some thing they said may be but we are not permitted to give you information about it .They said that Time errors are very powerful you may even land up in a different planet or may be an asteroid may even be diverted towards the earth and it is so fast that there is no chance to escape. They then told me that its time to go and that I find some honest people so that I can join them in their job of tracking errors. They asked me to sleep in the same hall so they could send me back to my world and that they would bring me back within a months time to help them out .I took my alarm clock it was 2.20pm when I slept. Suddenly I woke up I was in my house I realized I was dreaming I went to open the windows it was still night my mom came into my room and asked me when I was going to sleep, I was surprised I asked her what was the time she said its 12.30am I could’nt believe it . I went to check the time and indeed it was 12.30 am . I told her ok I’ll go to sleep now she told me don’t forget to set the alarm . I said ok . when I picked the alarm clock the time on the alarm clock to my surprise was 2.23pm. I knew my dream felt very real but I still have no evidence . When I spoke to people about it they laughed about it .But I know every bit of it was real I can still remember those voices those words those technologies .Further in the next chapter I will reveal their technologies they used , but yes who god is still remains an unsolved mystery as I said before he will one day have to come to us to reveal himself .Its not that I don’t believe in him , I know there’s some power some strong energy governing the universe and we know that power or energy by the name of god . I’ll have to wait until they call me back to their world it is then I would have answers to many un answered questions.
Coming further
Time paradoxes
Design of the time machine
How time stops
Definition of time
Heart Breaking Love Story.
Hi.......... ........ Trust the fact???????? ??
This is a real story of a young college girl who
passed away last month
in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a
truck.
She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend
named Shankar .
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she
also changed her phone
from Airtel to vodafone, so both of them can be on the
same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar .
Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar
is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their
love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my
handphone" she also said the same thing to her
parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was
there. A lot of
them tried to do so but still cant , everybody
including me, had tried to carry the body, the result
is still the same. Eventually, they called a person
who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak
with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her
father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses
something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn
her with her phone...
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and
sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It
could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform
Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook
something nice for me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna
surprise her."
Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna
tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and
said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for
her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to
him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar
started to sweat) He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still
calls me.
Shankar was shaking..
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from
Priya, see this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them
told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way
others could use her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help
again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
vodafone has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
This is a real story of a young college girl who
passed away last month
in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a
truck.
She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend
named Shankar .
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she
also changed her phone
from Airtel to vodafone, so both of them can be on the
same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar .
Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar
is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their
love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my
handphone" she also said the same thing to her
parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was
there. A lot of
them tried to do so but still cant , everybody
including me, had tried to carry the body, the result
is still the same. Eventually, they called a person
who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak
with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her
father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses
something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn
her with her phone...
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and
sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It
could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform
Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook
something nice for me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna
surprise her."
Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna
tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and
said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for
her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to
him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar
started to sweat) He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still
calls me.
Shankar was shaking..
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from
Priya, see this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them
told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way
others could use her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help
again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
vodafone has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
Facts About Women
Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.
Women think all beer is the same.
Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the mans responsibility, "It's there in the bible". hmmm who was it that gave Adam the apple?
Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"
Women have better restrooms. Ladies receive the royal treatment in the ladies room. Gents just get a large bowl to share.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.
After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.
If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
Women brush their hair before bed.
Woman have legs only so they won't leave tracks like snails.
Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
Women are insecure about their weight, butt and breast sizes.
20 Interesting Facts about Men
Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
If a man says “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t FORGET… he didn’t LOSE your number… he didn’t DIE! He just didn’t want to call you.
Guys don’t really have final decisions.
It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Most men hate to shop. That is why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.
Guys like girls who are like their moms.
Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: “Mitch, you look great.” Mitch: “Thanks.” On the other side: “Ruth, you look great.” Ruth: “I do? Must be the lighting.”
प्राजक्ताची फुले
टप् टप् पडती अंगावरती प्राजक्ताची फुले
भिर् भिर् भिर् भिर् त्या तालावर गाणे अमुचे जुळे !
कुरणावरती, झाडांखाली
ऊन-सावली विणते जाळी
येतो वारा पाहा भरारा, गवत खुशीने डुले !
दूर दूर हे सूर वाहती
उन्हात पिवळ्या पाहा नाहती
हसते धरती, फांदीवरती हा झोपाळा झुले !
गाणे अमुचे झुळ-झुळ वारा
गाणे अमुचे लुक-लुक तारा
पाऊस, वारा, मोरपिसारा या गाण्यातुन फुले !
फुलांसारखे सर्व फुला रे
सुरात मिसळुनि सूर, चला रे
गाणे गाती तेच शहाणे बाकी सारे खुळे !
गीत - मंगेश पाडगावकर
संगीत - वसंत देसाई
Drink & Drive....>>>Die
A Touching Poem......
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
funny facts
Ants Problem : Ants hate cucumbers. Keep the skin of cucumbers near the place or ant hole.
To get pure and clean ice : Boil water first before freezing.
To make the mirror shine : Clean with spirit
To remove chewing gum from clothes : Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour.
To whiten white clothes : Soak white clothes in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes
To give a shine to hair : Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair, then wash hair.
To get maximum juice out of lemons : Soak lemons in hot water for one hour, and then juice them.
To avoid smell of cabbage while cooking : Keep a piece of bread on the cabbage in the vessel while cooking.
To rid the smell of fish from your hands : Wash your hands with a little apple vinegar.
To avoid tears while cutting onions : Chew gum.
To boil potatoes quickly : Skin one potato from one side only before boiling.
To boil eggs quickly : Add salt to the water and boil.
To remove ink from clothes : Put toothpaste on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash.
To skin sweet potatoes quickly : Soak in cold water immediately after boiling.
To get pure and clean ice : Boil water first before freezing.
To make the mirror shine : Clean with spirit
To remove chewing gum from clothes : Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour.
To whiten white clothes : Soak white clothes in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes
To give a shine to hair : Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair, then wash hair.
To get maximum juice out of lemons : Soak lemons in hot water for one hour, and then juice them.
To avoid smell of cabbage while cooking : Keep a piece of bread on the cabbage in the vessel while cooking.
To rid the smell of fish from your hands : Wash your hands with a little apple vinegar.
To avoid tears while cutting onions : Chew gum.
To boil potatoes quickly : Skin one potato from one side only before boiling.
To boil eggs quickly : Add salt to the water and boil.
To remove ink from clothes : Put toothpaste on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash.
To skin sweet potatoes quickly : Soak in cold water immediately after boiling.
Management Lessons from "3 Idiots" Movie...
1. Never Try To Be Successful
Success is the bye-product. Excellence always creates success. So, never run after the success, let it happen automatically in the life.
2. Freedom To Life
Don’t die before actual death. Live every moment to the fullest as you are going to
die today night. Life is gifted to humankind to live, live & live @ happiness.
3. Passion Leads To Excellence
When your hobby becomes your profession and passion becomes your profession. You will be able to lead up to excellence in the life. Satisfaction, pleasure, joy and love will be the outcome of following passion. Following your passion for years, you will surely become something one day.
4. Learning Is Very Simple
Teachers do fail. Learners never fail. Learning is never complicated or difficult. Learning is always possible whatever rule you apply.
5. Pressure At Head
Current education system is developing pressures on students’ head. University intelligence is useful and making some impact in the life but it cannot be at the cost of the life.
6. Life Is Emotion Management Not Intelligence Optimization
Memory and regular study have definite value and it always helps you in leading a life. You are able to survive even if you can make some mark in the path of the life. With artificial intelligence, you can survive and win but you cannot prove yourself genius. Therefore, in this process genius dies in you.
7. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Necessity creates pressure and forces you to invent something or to make it happen or to use your potentiality. Aamir Khan in this film, 3 idiots, is able to prove in the film by using aqua guard pump at the last moment.
8. Simplicity is Life
Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and Indian culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: ‘Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky’
9. Industrial Leadership
Dean of the institute in 3 idiots is showing very typical leadership. He has his own principles, values and ideology, and he leads the whole institute accordingly. This is an example of current institutional leadership. In the present scenario, most of the institutes are fixed in a block or Squarish thinking.
10. Love Is Time & Space Free
Love is not time bound and space bound. It is very well demonstrated in this movie same love was demonstrated byKrishna and Meera. Love is border free, time free and space free.
11. Importance Of One Word In Communication
If communication dies, everything dies. Each word has impact and value in communication. One word if used wrongly or emphasized wrongly or paused at a wrong place in communication what effect it creates and how is it affected is demonstrated very well in this movie.
12. Mediocrity Is Penalized
Middle class family or average talent or average institute is going to suffer and has to pay maximum price in the life if they do not upgrade their living standards. To be born poor or as an average person is not a crime but to die as an average person with middle class talent is miserable and if you are unable to optimize your potentiality and die with unused potentiality then that is your shameful truth. One should not die as a mediocre. He/she has to bring out genius inside him/her and has to use his/her potentiality to the optimum level.
Success is the bye-product. Excellence always creates success. So, never run after the success, let it happen automatically in the life.
2. Freedom To Life
Don’t die before actual death. Live every moment to the fullest as you are going to
die today night. Life is gifted to humankind to live, live & live @ happiness.
3. Passion Leads To Excellence
When your hobby becomes your profession and passion becomes your profession. You will be able to lead up to excellence in the life. Satisfaction, pleasure, joy and love will be the outcome of following passion. Following your passion for years, you will surely become something one day.
4. Learning Is Very Simple
Teachers do fail. Learners never fail. Learning is never complicated or difficult. Learning is always possible whatever rule you apply.
5. Pressure At Head
Current education system is developing pressures on students’ head. University intelligence is useful and making some impact in the life but it cannot be at the cost of the life.
6. Life Is Emotion Management Not Intelligence Optimization
Memory and regular study have definite value and it always helps you in leading a life. You are able to survive even if you can make some mark in the path of the life. With artificial intelligence, you can survive and win but you cannot prove yourself genius. Therefore, in this process genius dies in you.
7. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention
Necessity creates pressure and forces you to invent something or to make it happen or to use your potentiality. Aamir Khan in this film, 3 idiots, is able to prove in the film by using aqua guard pump at the last moment.
8. Simplicity is Life
Life is need base never want base. Desires have no ends. Simplicity is way of life and Indian culture highly stresses on simple living and high thinking, and this is the way of life: ‘Legs down to earth and eyes looking beyond the sky’
9. Industrial Leadership
Dean of the institute in 3 idiots is showing very typical leadership. He has his own principles, values and ideology, and he leads the whole institute accordingly. This is an example of current institutional leadership. In the present scenario, most of the institutes are fixed in a block or Squarish thinking.
10. Love Is Time & Space Free
Love is not time bound and space bound. It is very well demonstrated in this movie same love was demonstrated byKrishna and Meera. Love is border free, time free and space free.
11. Importance Of One Word In Communication
If communication dies, everything dies. Each word has impact and value in communication. One word if used wrongly or emphasized wrongly or paused at a wrong place in communication what effect it creates and how is it affected is demonstrated very well in this movie.
12. Mediocrity Is Penalized
Middle class family or average talent or average institute is going to suffer and has to pay maximum price in the life if they do not upgrade their living standards. To be born poor or as an average person is not a crime but to die as an average person with middle class talent is miserable and if you are unable to optimize your potentiality and die with unused potentiality then that is your shameful truth. One should not die as a mediocre. He/she has to bring out genius inside him/her and has to use his/her potentiality to the optimum level.
Funny Law
Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
**********
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
**********
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
**********
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
**********
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
**********
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
**********
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
**********
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
**********
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
**********
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last..
**********
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
**********
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
**********
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
**********
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
**********
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
**********
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
**********
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
**********
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
**********
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
**********
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last..
**********
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Facts
1 . ATTITUDE IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.......
SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,
MAJOR : EXCELLENT ! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.
2. EVERY ONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE,
BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALL TO HIS FAMILY. BECAUSE, HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT'S LIFE " LIVE FOR OTHERS " .
3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT.
THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.
4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........
IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK .
5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE....... .A LIFE ENDS.
IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN...... .LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN .
6. IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE.
THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ....... BECAUSE OF EGO .
7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS AT THE BEST OF TIMES.
BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS .
8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BETTED COPPER BECOMES WIRES. DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE.
SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.
9. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... .......
AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO : EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON .
10. WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES , IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE ?
A WISE MAN SAID : AIR IS EVERYWHERE , BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN TO FEEL IT .
SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,
MAJOR : EXCELLENT ! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.
2. EVERY ONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE,
BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALL TO HIS FAMILY. BECAUSE, HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT'S LIFE " LIVE FOR OTHERS " .
3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT.
THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.
4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........
IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK .
5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE....... .A LIFE ENDS.
IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN...... .LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN .
6. IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE.
THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ....... BECAUSE OF EGO .
7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS AT THE BEST OF TIMES.
BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS .
8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BETTED COPPER BECOMES WIRES. DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE.
SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.
9. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... .......
AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO : EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON .
10. WHY WE HAVE SO MANY TEMPLES , IF GOD IS EVERYWHERE ?
A WISE MAN SAID : AIR IS EVERYWHERE , BUT WE STILL NEED A FAN TO FEEL IT .
Funny 1 after Marry
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *
Time pass
Chinese: Sun Yat Fai Lok!
Croatian: Sretan Rodendan!
Czech: Vsechno nejlepsi k Tvym narozeninam!!
Danish: Tillykke med fodselsdagen!
Dutch: Hartelijk gefeliciteerd! or Van harte gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag!
Esperanto: Felichan Naskightagon!
Farsi: Tavalodet Mobarak!
Finnish: Hyvaa syntymapaivaa!
French (Canada): Bonne Fete!
French: Joyeux Anniversaire!
German: Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
Greek: Eytyxismena Genethlia! or Chronia Pola!
Hawaiian: Hau`oli la hanau!
Hebrew: Yom Huledet Same'ach!
Hungarian: Boldog szuletesnapot! or Isten eltessen!
Italian: Buon Compleanno!
Japanese: Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu!
Russian: S dniom razhdjenia! or Pazdravliayu s dniom razhdjenia!
Spanish: Feliz Cumpleaños!
Swedish: Grattis på födelsedagen
Taiwanese: San leaz quiet lo!
Thai: Suk San Wan Keut!
English:Happy Birth day
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, & Jerry sanders (CEOs of Microsoft, Intel & AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussions, a beeping noise was suddenly emitted from where Bill was sitting.
Bill said : "Oh! that's my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I really need to take this call.: So Bill lifted his wrist-watch to his ear and began talking into the end of his tie. Having completed the call, he noticed the others were staring at him. So Bill explained : "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way, I can take a call anywhere." The others nodded, and the meeting continued.
5 min later, the discussion was again interrupted when this time round, from Andy started a beeping sound. "Oh that's my emergency beeper" he said. "Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call." Andy tapped his earlobe and began talking into thin air. When he completed the call, he noticed the others staring at him and thus explained, "I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is embedded in this fake tooth, isn't that neat?"
The others nodded and the meeting continue.jerry was however feeling that how technically unadvanced he is. Later still, the discussion was again interrupted when he emitted a thunderous fart. He looked up at the others staring at him and said, "Uhh, somebody get me a piece of paper..... I'm receiving a FAX."*
It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.
He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," The man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy."
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that .
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Pregnant with my child...
An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling.
"I've got an eighteen-year old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know of a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season.
But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM !
The beaver drops dead in front of him.
"That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver."
The Doctor says, "My point exactly."
Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".
22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)
16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her
that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
**********************
2.One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption: Before Marriage - Drink
whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
***********************
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
**********************
4.Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
************************
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
***********************
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.
**********************
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
***********************
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your
life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
*******************
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
************************
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from
Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY
the
ELECTRICITY BILL.
************************
11.Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
*************************
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built
for" - Albert Einstein
I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Ray," he said.
I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Kerry.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.' And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English fool again. INTERVIEW
Sub: electrical Engineering
People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as
compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it
was AC.
Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)
Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"
Bill Clinton decided to teach' Laloo English,so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives
in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the
tution inside the White house, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.
The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and press,news reporters from all
over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens,
and out comes Laloo -beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However,
Bill looks totally dazed,his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has
scratch marks all over his face.
Theshocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr.Clinton ?"
Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"
Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Croatian: Sretan Rodendan!
Czech: Vsechno nejlepsi k Tvym narozeninam!!
Danish: Tillykke med fodselsdagen!
Dutch: Hartelijk gefeliciteerd! or Van harte gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag!
Esperanto: Felichan Naskightagon!
Farsi: Tavalodet Mobarak!
Finnish: Hyvaa syntymapaivaa!
French (Canada): Bonne Fete!
French: Joyeux Anniversaire!
German: Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
Greek: Eytyxismena Genethlia! or Chronia Pola!
Hawaiian: Hau`oli la hanau!
Hebrew: Yom Huledet Same'ach!
Hungarian: Boldog szuletesnapot! or Isten eltessen!
Italian: Buon Compleanno!
Japanese: Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu!
Russian: S dniom razhdjenia! or Pazdravliayu s dniom razhdjenia!
Spanish: Feliz Cumpleaños!
Swedish: Grattis på födelsedagen
Taiwanese: San leaz quiet lo!
Thai: Suk San Wan Keut!
English:Happy Birth day
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, & Jerry sanders (CEOs of Microsoft, Intel & AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussions, a beeping noise was suddenly emitted from where Bill was sitting.
Bill said : "Oh! that's my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I really need to take this call.: So Bill lifted his wrist-watch to his ear and began talking into the end of his tie. Having completed the call, he noticed the others were staring at him. So Bill explained : "Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way, I can take a call anywhere." The others nodded, and the meeting continued.
5 min later, the discussion was again interrupted when this time round, from Andy started a beeping sound. "Oh that's my emergency beeper" he said. "Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call." Andy tapped his earlobe and began talking into thin air. When he completed the call, he noticed the others staring at him and thus explained, "I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is embedded in this fake tooth, isn't that neat?"
The others nodded and the meeting continue.jerry was however feeling that how technically unadvanced he is. Later still, the discussion was again interrupted when he emitted a thunderous fart. He looked up at the others staring at him and said, "Uhh, somebody get me a piece of paper..... I'm receiving a FAX."*
It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.
He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," The man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy."
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that .
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Pregnant with my child...
An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling.
"I've got an eighteen-year old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know of a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season.
But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM !
The beaver drops dead in front of him.
"That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver."
The Doctor says, "My point exactly."
Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".
22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven
Zero Four)
16.Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."
1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her
that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
**********************
2.One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption: Before Marriage - Drink
whenever you are SAD, After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
***********************
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
**********************
4.Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
************************
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
***********************
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.
**********************
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
***********************
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your
life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
*******************
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
************************
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from
Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY
the
ELECTRICITY BILL.
************************
11.Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
*************************
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built
for" - Albert Einstein
I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Ray," he said.
I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Kerry.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.' And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English fool again. INTERVIEW
Sub: electrical Engineering
People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as
compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it
was AC.
Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)
Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"
Bill Clinton decided to teach' Laloo English,so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives
in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the
tution inside the White house, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.
The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and press,news reporters from all
over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens,
and out comes Laloo -beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However,
Bill looks totally dazed,his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has
scratch marks all over his face.
Theshocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr.Clinton ?"
Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"
Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)